Little by Little: You know you're the parent of a preemie if...

Well if you don't laugh you'll cry! As stressful as it is being the parent of a preemie, there's always something to laugh at isn't there? Happy Christmas everyone!

You know you're the parent of a preemie if...

...you have started using your own corrected age to make yourself a little bit younger
...you're on first name terms with all the triage staff at all the local and regional children's A&E's and clinics
...you're still sterilizing everything that goes into your child's mouth after 12 months corrected
...your smoke alarm battery gets low and you spend ages checking if the apnea alarm is working first
...your friends look on aghast as you grab a child who has gone blue, clear their airways, use drugs, check monitors, check child is now okay and then carry on drinking tea and chatting as normal
You know your older child is a preemie when your younger one is born healthy at term but gets mild jaundice, and your husband asks the nurse if he's had his first blood transfusion yet
...your 3 and a half year old can fit in to 0-3 month shorts
...your husband begins to need the sound of the electronic breast pump to fall off to sleep
...their first sets of babygros and cardigans are even too small for an average size baby doll bought in Toys 'r' Us
...you begin to think that there is a silver lining to prematurity when you tot up the amount of money saved on formula milk and vitamins due to you getting them on prescription
...you speak a strange language that other parents at the local playgroup do not understand - CPAP, de-sats, hypo-tonic, NG feds, apneas, cynosis, RDS, bilrubin levels, CDC......
...you do a happy dance around clinic every time your baby has gained a gram
...you ring the doctors with a full list of symptoms and possible causes
...your doctors know exactly who you are and who your baby is before you've said your name
...you look at dolls clothes and wonder if they'd fit your baby
...you have a prepared answer for "isn't he small"
...your baby has started sleeping through the night, but you still do hourly observations to make sure he's still breathing
...the first thing you sit down to in the morning isn't a cup of tea, it's the breast pump
...you put your feet up to read charts and notes each morning, not the paper
...you are still charting how many times your preemie has had a dirty / wet nappy at 18 months old
...the beep of the microwave sends you into a blind panic
...you start lying about how old your child actually is to avoid all the annoying questions
...you still have frozen EBM in the back of your freezer 2 years on!
...you have the direct childrens ward access number at the top of your speed dial and all the nurses know you
...you go to the pharmacist and they immediately look for prescriptions with your childs name on even if you haven't ordered anything
...you have a whole heap of answers ready for questions on oxygen
...the labels in clothes mean nothing - if it stays up, it'll do
...strangers mistake your 21 month old and 8 month old as twins
...you use the raincover on the pushchair for the first 6 months after baby comes home regardless of season or weather
...your work colleagues deliver your 'congratulations it's a boy!' card at the same time as your 'sorry you're leaving to have a baby' card
...on the postnatal maternity ward you use the cot to store your belongings
...in the hospital canteen the till operator gives you the staff discount because you eat there so often
...the nurses buzz you in automatically, because you've been there that long
...as a stay at home mum, the first thing you say to your husband as he walks through the door is not 'how was your day at work, darling?' but a full handover of your baby's cares, feed regime and drugs for that evening
...approaching a junction you find yourself getting in the lane for the hospital, even though your baby has been discharged.

Many thanks to all the parents on the Bliss messageboard who contributed to this list.

Tuesday 22 December 2009

You know you're the parent of a preemie if...

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